Saturday, January 15, 2011

Why is relation of wife and mother difficult get along?

Core clew: Between all sorts of family concerns, the relation between wife and mother is easy least of all probably get along. It is not easy to do not say those are good the old lady that boils a mother-in-law gathers, the topic that talk always cannot leave the accident of eristic daughter-in-law, it is the young woman with those stride husband old homes, Available when chatting, unavoidable also turned the party into condemn mother-in-law plenary meeting or complaint congress. Hold the husband concurrently at that son between wife and mother, for the relation of hold together both sides, had sufferred how many plywood to enrage, compensate. . .

Why does relation of wife and mother get along not quite easily harmonious? Some investigator according to Fuluoyide's train of thought, the affection that holds the husband concurrently to the son from wife and mother is had be about to reach isogon of ” of “ Oedipus complex to spend go explaining. When the perspective that tastes psychology of try out society when us goes analysing, what verdict can you get again?

Both sides of wife and mother just often stresses the feeling that has really, other one party stresses due feeling, result two dissatisfactory

The research with psychological society discovers, the Chinese is opposite when all sorts of human relations are classified, can use the level of a Shuang Weidu. A dimension spends the distance that is part of portion of two person in the relation, what a dimension spends the exchange of the real situation that is two people in the relation and obligation to fulfill is balanced.

In domestic concern, parentage is a kind of kin, parental children is joined with hematic arteries and veins, in the Chinese culture that is core with axis of father and son, parentage appears particularly important. And sister of spouse concern, brother concerns its are by comparison important degree the metropolis is a few weaker. To each person, these relations are inherent, perhaps come down surely by part identity firm. Accordingly, we concerned to form respective distinction on affection expression to these.

To this, famous sociologist expends filial piety to connect what the gentleman says to be the love ” of “ equal difference. Means says, in close child between, between husband and wife, there is the feeling that comes from part identity regulation between brothers. This namely the affection with the due “ that place of Mr Liang Shuming says ” . Disparate impact has different ethical standard, also have different affection kind.

In addition, cast identity part for, interact ceaselessly in daily life when two people, can form favour kind and enmity to complain, and the likes and dislikes of love and hate to a person. E.g. , when us special esteem when oneself father, besides have a kind of children to father respect besides, still meet admire him because of his individual moral character, have a kind of opinion that surmounts identity of close predestined relationship. This is the feeling that “ has really ” .

Generally speaking, in domesticity, because domestic member has very close kin not only, and fellow of the hair on the temples that return ear is ground, a very short time gets along, have at the same time most the due affection of close to and the most pure and honest feeling that have really.

Should concern without close predestined relationship originally, “ is not a family originally the men and women of ” , when walking into one door ” as a result of “ loving each other, basically ” prompts the feeling that is had really by “ . Marriage brought spouse concern not only, and also brought capacity of concern of a string of big family, new a form of address for one's wife fell into net of a piece of concern in the center, need to be dealt with on four sides. Wife and mother concerns even if compare main concern among them. And to daughter-in-law, as average as the person of husband home truck is less before marriage, so, it is the feeling that has really to the husband, and other to husband's father and mother and husband home member has due feeling only.

Due affection is a kind of affection that sets according to the part only, for example friendly younger brother of the father Ci Zixiao in traditional ethics, elder brother respectful wait. Because this kind of compulsory affection is compulsory merely, let a person very easily speak insincerely or muddle through one's work. The meeting in daughter-in-law heart thinks, there is friendship between us, you do not bring up me as a child, because marry, I am about to be taken care of by every means to you, I return the parents of myself do not have give presents of there's still time, can accomplish now such I am very pretty good. The meeting in mother-in-law heart thinks, you go out in my home piece into, be a family, you should resemble the appearance of height daughter-in-law! One party stresses the feeling that has really, other one party stresses due feeling, two dissatisfactory.

When both sides of wife and mother promiscuous relation of wife and mother and mother and daughter concern, because the other side cannot satisfy his anticipation and the meeting gives birth to dissatisfaction gradually

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